Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy by Justin Taylor

Take a look at this post. Dietrich Bonhoeffer played a huge role in my conversion. I was religious for years before I picked up two of his books - Life Together and The Cost of Discipleship. I recommend both of these books to anyone who desires Christ-centered, life changing, and sin mortifying literature. The Cost of Discipleship is one of the most uncomfortable books I have ever read. Anyway - below find the link to Justin Taylor's post on Bonhoeffer.

Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy – Justin Taylor

Autonomy, Loneliness and Hope

I used to consider myself a recluse. I like to be alone. I usually say being by myself is how I refuel - its how I can "face the day." Sure, some would never consider me an introvert. Katie and I love to have company, and talk and exist in community. But there is a large part of me that likes to just sit, in my office, by myself, and stare at the wall or even a good book.

So when Katie takes the kids to the in-laws for a few days, my first instinct is to get excited. It's not because I don't like being around them (I love it), but the rarity of alone-time makes alone-time all the more coveted. I think you know what I mean.

I look forward to that day when they will pull out of the drive way and I can walk into a house where it is just me (and the dog - Tilly). Usually I have a list of to-do's for myself. Cleaning is fun. Fiddling around is also fun. But what really happens when I walk back into the house is, in reality, not so fun. :( I'll come back to this in a moment.

I am learning that my "introvertedness" can soon tip over into the selfishness category. That is, it is difficult to know whether I just want to be alone, or if I just want to do what I want to do (in a selfish sense). In other words, I wonder if sometimes I use my desire to be alone as a ploy to cover up my real desire to be autonomous. Marriage and family is a difficult thing. My buddy Orlando said to me when I got married, "Scott, your life is OVER!" Then when we had Emma, he said, "Scott, your life is really over now!" That's why I love to be around Do-man (Orlando's nickname). He says the funniest things - and often they are so true. What he was really saying was, "you have now lost your life." As Christians, we know that is really good news.

What am I trying to say? The sinful side of me desires to be autonomous. I want what I want, when I want it. And, I don't want anyone to tell me, "No." But there is a huge rub to this. The way to seemingly have this scenario is to be alone. We say, "Let me be alone! Then I can do what I want! Then I can be happy! Then I won't have someone always looking over my shoulder!" I wonder if this isn't the lie that leads many to divorce - or at least to a distaste for marriage?

How do I know it's a lie? The answer is simple. As soon as Katie and the kids leave the drive way, the excitement of being alone (and/or autonomous) is soon overshadowed by the darkest cloud of loneliness. In stead of strolling through my to-do list, whistling as I go about doing what I want to do, I find myself sitting on the bed, staring at the wall, wishing I could hear, "Daddy!" or "Scott, can you come in here for a sec?" or "Awe, will you just scratch my back for a little bit?" Suddenly, the small things that make usually make me want to be alone are the very things that I miss so much.

In short, autonomy and loneliness are far from being allies. This, no doubt, is by design. We weren't made to be alone (Gen 2:18). I am learning that those small frustrations that come from being in demand by others are often really just instances where my sin is being mortified. Sin doesn't like to die. And it will undoubtedly scream in our ears while it is being put to death.

I love my family. I love my friends. And I love it that they make it almost impossible for me to be lonely. Sure, its frustrating at times. And that's ok. But frustration is not always void of joy and satisfaction. While the old man dies, the new man thrives. This is our taste of glory. It is the down payment of our inheritance. When true Christ-like satisfaction comes to me in community, all I think about is heaven. Oh what a great day that will be! No more sin. No more frustration. No more death. And finally, no more arguments at 11:11pm!

This is our hope as Christians. And I am learning also to be careful where I place it (hope). It is not fully realized here. Sure it is "now" but it is also "not yet." My satisfaction clearly does not come from my family going on a small vacation. And may I say this to those who might be frustrated with marriage - happiness for you will not come from not being married. Final happiness, joy, satisfaction and peace will come in glory. We must not demand more from our spouse than he/she can give. Marriage is not without frustration; but it is not without joy either.

Katie and the kids are home now from New Orleans. They arrived last night. I can't think of a time when my life has been more satisfying. I do, however, need to stop writing this post in order to get to my "honey-do" list :) Isn't life grand!

It is so much more than just... "Hello"

This post by Doug Walter hit home. This is so convicting. As I look back at many of the discussions that Katie and I have had regarding my role in the home, I must say, that the girl is simply spot on.

When I come home tired and groggy - the whole house turns to emulate my activity. I have learned (and am continuing to learn) that something as simple as the tone of my voice when I say "hello" when she calls, is of drastic importance. What I am really saying when I say "hello" is - "what would you like my love, as I am so glad you are my wife!" OR "what in the heck to YOU want!" - all of this in a simple word..."hello."

Dads and husbands would do well to "man-up" as they approach their wives and families after a long day. It is well worth the effort. The sacrifice is small compared to the smiles one gets when he has a happy home.

Pastoring against Pornography and all other Jacked Up Stuff...

The very first day I stepped foot in my office, the role of pastor became an immediate reality. I was fresh off of the seminary campus. My mind was filled with every bit of theological, missiological, ecclesiological and "any-other-ological" information that a student could learn in a classroom. Sure a pastor is always theologizing and gaining information - but, what came through that door, on my first day, was no class project - it was no seminary exam. What came through those doors was a man; and from the looks of him, he was "all jacked up."

Suddenly, I began going through the files in my head, searching for the right folder that would tell me how to address his issues. My search pulled up nothing. My eyes looked just past his to my precious books. I scanned the titles hoping that I could just put a book in his hand and show him out the door. No book found.

I was stuck. I was without a word. Here was a man who couldn't sleep for all of the pornographic images that ran through his head. A priest is what he asked for. He got me - a newbie. I was wholly ill-equipped to "bless him to make the demons go away." I didn't learn that in seminary. What was I to do?

This man was enslaved. So, I just closed my eyes (for a second, so that I didn't look weird) and prayed. Soon, I began to think about slavery. A man doesn't have to think far to know or remember slavery. Pornography alone is the master that many men know so well. It captivates, enslaves, condemns, and burdens with many stripes. His images just wouldn't go away. I knew that kind of slavery. I have been there. And, honestly, it only takes a sudden image on the television screen - or even an immodest outfit, to introduce "the wave" or "the rush" that we all know to well.

So as I prayed and began to remember what bondage was like. The overwhelming realization that I got was that I too, was "all jacked up." There was a slight difference though. But the difference was an alien one. In other words, it was not a difference that I could take credit for.

This gentleman did not know Christ. He did not understand the Gospel. He did not know freedom, confession and repentance. Because of redemption, I do. And I found that the gift that I possess, in Christ, began to pour out of me. It was the strangest thing. When I came off my high horse and began to feel the weight of my sin, I began to share the simplest of truths. Christ lived the life that we should have lived. He died the death that we should have died. Because of Christ, those who embrase Him by faith and repentance are more loved and accepted than they ever could imagine. All the sudden, we were two jacked up men talking about one amazing Savior. Amazing.

This guy didn't look like me. He didn't smell like me. He didn't talk, walk, or even think like me. We both knew that. Realizing our sin and slavery, however, brought us to one common ground. And it was there that we spoke of our common need for Christ.

Its been about 8 months since that day. He still comes to church on and off. He even brings people with him. His life doesn't look like mine. He says he believes and trusts in Christ. I believe him. I am realizing that salvation doesn't look the same in all of us. There are, I understand, common fruits of the Spirit that must be there. But we all are being sanctified, according to the wisdom and mercy of God. We are the same, but we are not too.

We are brothers. Now when he walks in the doors, with smiles, we give a nice man-hug. I truly want to know how he is doing. As a pastor and fellow Christian, I long to see that day when pornography and all other jacked up stuff will be finally done away with. Sure, he came that first day for help. But as the ole cliche goes, I think I received more help than he. Isn't Christ amazing!

Here are some good resources for battling pornography that I thought you might like. If you don't have an "issue" with pornography, I suggest you read at least some of these articles. They will help you understand those who do struggle.

Breaking Pornography Addiction - Part 1 | CCEF

Breaking Pornography Addiction - Part Two | CCEF

Tim Challies' booklet on Sexual Detox for Married and Single Men

Dr Schaeffer’s Lectures and Discussions

What a gold mine!

Dr Schaeffer’s lectures and discussions to download from L’Abri

How do you counsel a husband who has hurt his wife with his pornography struggle?

For those who are in, or are aspiring to be in ministry; even to those who simply desire to love others in the church - here is an extremely useful post.

How do you counsel a husband who has hurt his wife with his pornography struggle?

How I Read a Book...by Challies

How I Read a Book | Challies Dot Com

This is a great post on how to read a book effectively. When time is a valuable commodity along with information, it is imperative that we gain our information (esp. through reading) without waisting time. Enjoy!