Suddenly, I began going through the files in my head, searching for the right folder that would tell me how to address his issues. My search pulled up nothing. My eyes looked just past his to my precious books. I scanned the titles hoping that I could just put a book in his hand and show him out the door. No book found.
I was stuck. I was without a word. Here was a man who couldn't sleep for all of the pornographic images that ran through his head. A priest is what he asked for. He got me - a newbie. I was wholly ill-equipped to "bless him to make the demons go away." I didn't learn that in seminary. What was I to do?
This man was enslaved. So, I just closed my eyes (for a second, so that I didn't look weird) and prayed. Soon, I began to think about slavery. A man doesn't have to think far to know or remember slavery. Pornography alone is the master that many men know so well. It captivates, enslaves, condemns, and burdens with many stripes. His images just wouldn't go away. I knew that kind of slavery. I have been there. And, honestly, it only takes a sudden image on the television screen - or even an immodest outfit, to introduce "the wave" or "the rush" that we all know to well.
So as I prayed and began to remember what bondage was like. The overwhelming realization that I got was that I too, was "all jacked up." There was a slight difference though. But the difference was an alien one. In other words, it was not a difference that I could take credit for.
This gentleman did not know Christ. He did not understand the Gospel. He did not know freedom, confession and repentance. Because of redemption, I do. And I found that the gift that I possess, in Christ, began to pour out of me. It was the strangest thing. When I came off my high horse and began to feel the weight of my sin, I began to share the simplest of truths. Christ lived the life that we should have lived. He died the death that we should have died. Because of Christ, those who embrase Him by faith and repentance are more loved and accepted than they ever could imagine. All the sudden, we were two jacked up men talking about one amazing Savior. Amazing.
This guy didn't look like me. He didn't smell like me. He didn't talk, walk, or even think like me. We both knew that. Realizing our sin and slavery, however, brought us to one common ground. And it was there that we spoke of our common need for Christ.
Its been about 8 months since that day. He still comes to church on and off. He even brings people with him. His life doesn't look like mine. He says he believes and trusts in Christ. I believe him. I am realizing that salvation doesn't look the same in all of us. There are, I understand, common fruits of the Spirit that must be there. But we all are being sanctified, according to the wisdom and mercy of God. We are the same, but we are not too.
We are brothers. Now when he walks in the doors, with smiles, we give a nice man-hug. I truly want to know how he is doing. As a pastor and fellow Christian, I long to see that day when pornography and all other jacked up stuff will be finally done away with. Sure, he came that first day for help. But as the ole cliche goes, I think I received more help than he. Isn't Christ amazing!
Here are some good resources for battling pornography that I thought you might like. If you don't have an "issue" with pornography, I suggest you read at least some of these articles. They will help you understand those who do struggle.
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