From Epidural to Eternity: The Pain in Birthing and Raising Our Children

I am not sure that epidurals have put an end to the pain that women experience in childbearing (Gen 3:16). While modern medicine has made many attempts to subvert the hopeful plan of God after the fall, I am noticing that the efforts have fallen miserably short. Labor may not be as painful as it was in the past, but bearing and raising children is as painful as ever. The discomfort that begins with contractions soon turns to travail, and then continues until the mother returns to the dust. 

Immediately after delivery, the mother and father celebrate their lovely child who is ironically covered in the mother's blood. Once the baby comes out, relentless efforts are made to wipe off the evidence that this child just passed through the "waters" of his or her parent's lineage - the evidence that this child has been "baptized" into Adam; that he or she has been brought forth in iniquity.

In the same room during those first minutes, one hears the juxtaposition of two very different experiences. While the parents laugh and weep with joy, gratitude, and excitement, the child screams and cries while it experiences the chill and discomfort of entering this new world. 

From that day forward, the parenting experience will always be marked by joy and sorrow, comfort and pain, laughter and tears, life and death.

The conversations in my home alone are a witness to this. We commonly smile and find great joy when our children do something cute, say something funny, or exude godly character. But there are plenty of conversations filled with feelings of concern, guilt, and desperation. 

It is so painful to witness a child withdraw in fear after experiencing unjust anger. It is so painful to watch our children struggle with what seems to be generational anxiety. And nothing has pierced our hearts deeper and more painfully than when one of our children lies to protect themselves from the repercussions of their own sinful actions. 

I am confident that the pain Eve felt when she delivered Cain paled in comparison to the pain she felt when Cain murdered her other son, his brother. And so it is with us as we watch sin trickle down the generational line. Consequently, we are always parenting with this pain in view - making plans, setting up systems, laying down laws, and enforcing restrictions - all to ensure they are protected from fallenness, and to ensure we are better protected from the pain of watching them suffer through the futility of this world. 

But we must not allow the painful darkness to eclipse the redemptive light. Though it is painful to watch the effects of sin in the lives of our children, we must not forget the gospel. The blood that marked them at conception placed them in the very category that Jesus came to save. I hate that my children are sinful and that they have a father and mother who are sinful as well. But I find hope in that Jesus came to save and dwell among sinful people. And he is relentlessly strong to bring forth light from darkness, joy from pain, and dancing where there was once nothing but sorrow. 

We should all remember that the pain of Gen 3:16 was given by God in light of the promise of Gen 3:15. We should always see the tragedy of sin in our homes as a strange opportunity for repentance and faith in our amazing Savior. And we should be ever ready to direct our children to the very place we find refuge, strength, safety and salvation - Jesus Christ, the Savior of the World. And we should always communicate our unique hope, that even though we have been brought forth in iniquity, we will one day be reborn in glory.  

Good God Who Does Strange Things

I haven't written in a while. My apologies, but I needed the break. There has been a lot of changing going on in my life, I trust, for good, and for his glory. Significant things are being ordered, and this blog is not on the top of my list [anymore]. But I do have some time this morning. And I have been encouraged by the Lord. So, here you go.

I have always noticed the strange way in which the Lord led the people to defeat Jericho. Walking around a city for seven days seems strange in and of itself. However, I never noticed how the seventh day was especially strange (Joshua 6).

The previous six days they only marched around the city once. But the seventh day, the day when the city would be devoted to destruction, they had to march seven times.

It is not uncommon for the Lord to make his people weak and tired at the precise moment they are to be strong - like for going to war. I can only imagine what the people were thinking the night before: "Okay, tomorrow we are going to war to see Jericho destroyed. We must get good sleep and rest. We will need to be strong, fast, and enduring."

Then, they wake at dawn the seventh day only to receive the strange command, "Walk around the city, not once, but seven times!" What?! As if circumcision wasn't enough to set them back (ch.5), now, the strength they would need to defeat the enemy would be wasted on walking! When the fight began they would be tired, slow, and spent.

I don't know why I have always thought my life to be different. During this time, when it would seem I needed to be stronger than ever, I feel weaker than ever. Why, when I need to be structured and sharp do I feel so chaotic and dull? The truth is I have never in my life felt weaker and more inadequate for the task of planting a church than I do now.

But apparently, this is right where the Lord wants me. Weak that he may be glorified as strong.

Out On A Limb

As fallen people, we tend to live a large portion of our lives "out on a limb." We hang there, clinging to the only thing that keeps us from falling into the abyss we fear most - death. It's the limb of our desired identities. It is the person we must be in order to stay alive, and not die, in this fallen world.

And so we hold on so tightly, straining to be what we desperately believe we must be; defending and climbing away from any indictment or circumstance that makes us what we must not be.

The limb looks like a sentence. 

"I must be ________ in order not to die."  OR  "If I am ________ I will die."

Most men fill in the blanks this way: I must be strong, dependable, trustworthy, handsome, a leader in my home, church, or job, as well as a provider for my family. I must not be weak, puny, perverted, ugly, small, or insufficient. If I am not the former, or, if I am the latter, I will die. People will laugh at me, detest me, cast me into the dungeon of social shame, and reject me forever. 

Most women (I tend to think) fill them in this way: I must be beautiful, desirable, and sexy. I need to be a good, loving, and caring mother, wife, and friend. I must be a good home-maker and parent, keeping things in order. My children must behave well. I must not be ugly, gross, or lazy. I must have things in control in my relationships, home, and family. If I am not the former, and if I am the latter, I will die. My social life will spiral out of control, people will think bad thoughts about me, and I will be rejected forever. 

Navigating the limb is tough. It is exhausting, constantly strategic, and filled with anxiety, fear, and unrest. One wrong move, slip of concentration, or even a small nap and down we go. Unbearable shame, scorn, chaos, rejection, and ridicule are soon to follow. 

Therefore, other people are dangerous. If they were to reveal one of our inadequacies, that'd be like pealing a finger away from the limb. If they find us out, we'd surely fall. They may even be so clumsy as to cast their burdens upon us. We'd become heavier. Our limb would flex. Our grip would surely fail. So we become angry, anxious, and judgmental. By becoming safer from others, we become unsafe to others. 

Not only is this life dangerous, it is completely unnecessary. 

Because we are so focused on ourselves (the person we must or must not be) we fail to realize the safe foundation just below our feet. His name is Christ Jesus the Lord. When we let go of the limb, when we "lose our lives", we can live in the safe pasture of our Good Shepherd. There we can run because we are ransomed. We can hear criticism because he has been crucified (Gal 2:20). 

Letting go means coming to terms with, and confessing the truth about, ourselves. When indictments about our looks, character, and/or abilities come, we can resist the temptation to cling to the limb of our own over-desired identities. By the power of the Spirit, we can humbly consider the possibility of truth in their words. 

Most of the time people are right about us, regardless of their motives or reasons for confronting us. If they call us a jerk, we can say, "You know what, you're right. I am a jerk. I'm sorry." "If they say we are irresponsible or inadequate, we can say, "You are right, I am those things. Can you help me?"

What if they are wrong about us? This just means they aren't seeing us clearly. They need help - Gospel help. Rather then worrying about ourselves and our identity, we are free to love even those who [wrongly] accuse us.

This is letting go of the limb. 

The Good News of the Gospel is that "letting go" is completely safe if our foundation is Christ. Because he died, we won't die. He is just below our feet. It makes no sense holding on. We must daily fall upon the One who is perfect in character and ability, who is completely sufficient, responsible, and good. He is sufficient for us. As we rest in him, his identity is freely ours by God's wonderful grace. 

Why We Need the 'Hood

In my latest article for the Reformed African American Network (RAAN), I talk about some of the main reasons why we need the 'hood. Here is a blurb:

We are also there because we need what the ‘hood has to offer. There are jewels, if you will, in marginalized communities that are missing from the Church’s crown. Without these jewels, the Church sparkles less.

You can read the rest of the article here. I hope it blesses you...

The Strangest Thing Happened Today

I think it is important to know that the Lord is always near us, with us, and even in us. He is always present, in a deep and significant way; even when we do absolutely nothing to draw near to him; even when we actively run away.

We are the children of a strange God who doesn't count our sins against us. He doesn't wait for us to draw near to him in order to draw near to us. He isn't hindered by our irresponsibility, nor is he resisted by our seemingly random situations.

Typically, I begin my day in the Word. Sitting in a quiet place under the Scriptures helps me to approach my crazy days. It is primarily during these times that I gain a sense of direction, become satisfied in God, and find motivation to love others.

Today was atypical. I forewent the Scriptures and began work around the house. The strangest thing happened. As I was washing dishes at the sink, before I thought of the Lord or meditated on his Word, I felt an overwhelming sense of his presence. I felt his love for me.

It was profound and preceded any action of my own towards God. He came to me. Without invitation, he entered my heart's door. He invaded my space. He loved me.

This may be a foundational truth of Christianity - that the Lord reaches us before we reach for him. But I often forget the practical aspects of this truth for my life. It was refreshing and praise-inspiring to know that he is faithful and pleasantly-impatient. Yes, he is patient in that he doesn't immediately punish, but he is impatient in that he doesn't wait on our actions to actively love us.

Today, it was so good to know that my Father in heaven loves me. It was good to feel his mercy and care. And it was humbling to since his pursuit of me, especially when I did not pursue him first.

Moralizing is a Dirty Word

Here is a great quote from Plantinga's Not the Way It's Supposed to Be: A Breviary of Sin:

Nowadays, "moralizing" is a dirty word in public education, and the consensus on what constitutes good and evil has contracted: for a regnant educational elite, moral tolerance is now the only good, and moral intolerance the only evil. In the kingdom of the elite, classroom wars between good and evil think down to angry border skirmishes between the politically correct and the politically challenged.  The politically challenged are, of course, those doofuses who still use short words whe they talk - words like good, bad, right, and wrong. The politically correct, on the other hand, prefer more leisurely and ironic expressions. To be sure, the politically correct (e.g., those who describe the lazy person as "motivationally dispossessed" and prostitutes as "sex care providers") are still willing to make moral judgments - but only of those who make moral judgments. They say things like this: "It is always wrong to make moral judgments."

Some Dangers of Personal Bible Study

Spending time each day in and under God's Word is extremely important. I am an advocate for developing the habit of regular, personal bible study and prayer. It directs us as we begin our day, it fills us to love others, and it helps us to focus our lives upon bringing glory to God in all things.

There are, however, some dangers I have seen and experienced when we, as a culture, overemphasize personal bible study. Yes, I think we can idolize bible study, making it into something it was never meant to be. Humans are very good at twisting good things in order to bring ourselves glory.

Here are a few dangers I believe we should be aware of as we seek to develop this very important practice:

First, personal Bible study will not make us righteous. I have heard, seen, and even felt it a hundred times. We base our righteousness on our relationship with our Bible. Bible study will not make us righteous, nor will our failure to study it condemn us. If something comes up (like a child waking, a friend calling, or a person knocking) that makes personal study impossible, it's okay. The Lord loves you and is with you in Christ. Remember, the Scriptures lead us to the One who makes us righteous. His grace, not our study of it, is all we need to make us righteous in Christ.

Second, personal Bible study should not cause us to undermine or neglect other ways to know and understand the Word of God. It can be and has been argued that public worship is to be preferred before private. The good news coming out of the heart and mouth of a good friend and/or preacher, felt by their relational embrace, is a significant and sufficient way to know the Scriptures. People who are thoughtful and intentional on sharing the truth in love have a way of speaking the oracles of God (1Pet 4:11) in ways that are both memorable and meaningful. If we are diligent in personal study, but less-so in public worship, we should be alarmed.

Third, we should not burden the consciences of others to spend time in personal Bible study every day. While we should certainly recommend it for the good of ourselves and others, I struggle to see the mandate (as it is commonly practiced in our day) in Scripture. Not all people are able to spend time in Bible study for long periods of time on a regular basis. I am thinking of fathers who have to work two (or three) jobs to make ends meet. I am thinking of mothers who have the constant burden to care for the home, often without much sleep.

It is a gracious blessing when we are afforded the time and desire to spend time studying the Bible. We have to understand that the Lord blesses us that we may bless others (Gen 12:3). We have to realize that we ourselves may be the means by which people around us know and understand the Word of God. Learning God's Word should always launch us into loving people with God's Word.

Fourth, individual Bible study should not cause us to neglect the riches of communal study. We are not infallible and are often limited within the confines of our own intellect. Joining with others to study, discuss, contemplate, and pray through Scripture is so rich and fulfilling that it can hardly be compared to any other practice in the Christian life. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you may have an unhealthy relationship with your Bible.

Fifth, personal Bible study should not make us unteachable. This falls right in line with the previous point. We should be so secure in Christ that we are willing to hear about our own failures and inadequacies. We should be willing to hear from others the treasures we left untouched. And when someone tells us something about a particular passage, we should refrain from the insecure and often prideful comment, "Yeah, I knew that..." We don't have to say something back. We can just thankfully receive the Word without adding our own commentary.

Sixth, personal Bible study is not the chief goal we look for in the lives of those we disciple. Just because a person studies the Bible, and knows it really well, doesn't mean that person is a Christian. More than the fruit of study, we are looking for the fruit of the Spirit. More than truth, we are looking for the truth shared in love. More than a head informed, we are looking for a heart inflamed. We are looking for more than what a person can accomplish by their own study. We are looking for a work of God.

Finally,  personal Bible study is not a full representation of the Christian life. I wish following Christ was always like my times of personal Bible study - quiet room, coffee, comfortable chair, and content that reminds me of a Father's love for me. Knowing the Father's love, however, is the substance we need when we launch into a world where people don't love us.

The Christian life is not a quiet, convenient ivory tower. It is a war - a battle ground where we are constantly fighting for our lives and the lives of others. Wounded people need us to carry them out of enemy territory. The enemy hates us and is relentless in his pursuit to have us undone, defamed, and disqualified. The Christian should not expect a life of quiet times, but one where the megaphone of sin, fallenness, and struggling constantly reminds us we are sojourners in this land.

Again, I am not saying that personal Bible study is a bad thing. It is a very good thing. But only when we keep it in its place to remind, inform, and encourage us, in the midst of our chaotic world, of the peaceful, quiet, and calm rest of Christ our Redeemer.

Rest: Being Okay With Not Being In Control

Being out of control, being at the complete mercy of another person, or being totally helpless in a particular situation, throws many of us into panic mode. The thought of being out of control makes us feel unsafe, insecure, and very uncomfortable. These feelings are felt down deep. And when they are felt, we become fearful, anxious, on guard, and bound to a life of unrest.

Many of us have very good reasons for feeling this way. We have fallen victim to others or have experienced tragic circumstances. We have gone through tragedy, and to go through the pain again would be unbearable. The uncontrollable world produces uncontrollable pain that we often have to just deal with. Time is the ever-slow healer. Sleep seems to be the only medication. 

The external world is overwhelming. The possibilities of what could happen are overbearing. There are many people in this world who haven't rested in a long while. There are many people who are very tired - tired of keeping themselves safe, protected, and guarded. 

The reality of our weakness makes us restless. 

We are very poor refuges for ourselves and must apprehensively guard our post with insufficient artillery. We are just not strong or smart enough. So we resort to gorilla warfare, hiding in the shadows of our protective lies, and, when we must, we ambush with manipulative deception and survival-like force. We do whatever it takes to make the external world safe from maverick circumstances and/or people. 

It's not that we want to harm anyone, we just don't want to be harmed [again]. If we relate, we do so reservedly. If we laugh, we do so cautiously. If we sleep we do so with one eye open. Again, many of us have not rested in some time.

But what if there was one person who was completely safe? What if this man was a perfect father, who treated all like a fragile, needy, and weak son or daughter? What if he was powerful enough to make every molecule, personal or non personal, safe? What if he actually controlled all things?

What if you were at peace with this man, and he was completely at peace with you? What if he loved you and was totally happy with you? What if the words used to describe him were fortress, refuge, Lord, or even warrior? What if you could hide safely in him? What if he was committed (and able) to defeat all of his (and your) enemies?

What if he was completely truthful and never lied? What if you never had to wonder what he was thinking (about you)? What if he said that you need not fear ever again? What if he said he would be with you and would care for you forever? What if he was committed to telling you and showing you the way to go...always?

This man does exist. He is alive. And his name is Jesus Christ. All who are in him by faith, because of his wonderful grace, can rest. We can love without worry. We can hurt with hope. We can repent without rejection. We can exist outside of the darkness of our own dungeon as we relish life in the Son. We can rest in our weakness, knowing and trusting in his strength to protect, guard, secure and love us well. He is the Lord.

May he give you rest today. May he give us all peace as we navigate this troubled world.

The Hardest Thing In The World To Do

The hardest thing in the world to do, for every person in the world, is not achieving some physical feat, reaching some monetary worth, or climbing from the dumps to a particular social or political status.

The hardest thing in the world to do is not to overcome addiction to alcohol or pornography. It is not to clean one's self up after living a dirty life. Changing one's life is difficult, it is not the most difficult.

The hardest thing in the world to do is to love another - purely, freely, and independently of the chance of their beneficial reciprocal actions.

Deeply sown into the fabric of our fallenness is the need for our actions towards others to be advantageous to us. On the flip side of that fallen coin is the necessity that our actions towards others must not be disadvantageous to us.

It doesn't matter what the other gains if we do not ultimately gain, or, if we ultimately lose. So we develop the most surreptitious stiff-arms to keep those who needs us from dragging us down.

And this is why Christianity is so hard. This is why Christ is so often hated. He demands the hardest action in the world. When we bring to him our resume of "good" actions toward others he gives us the truth we hate to hear - that we were not loving at all, but selfish throughout.

We loved only those who allowed us to remain in control of our lives. All the while we neglected the sojourner, the fatherless, the oppressed, the prisoner, and the poor. Those who impose, overly-need, and often take advantage of us. Those who may put our lives in danger of not being the greatest thing in the world.

The crown jewel of the Christ's crown, however, is his love for his enemies; his ability and strength to faithfully love people who do not love him back. He is odd because he touches lepers, and communes with sinners. He takes time for the blind, the bleeding, and the unclean. He freely gives to those who cannot give back. He died for those who actively sought to take his life.

And he expects us to carry on that Spirit-led and empowered tradition.

We have to know this about our call. Otherwise, we remain indistinguishable from the rest of those who love only the ones who love us in return.

Christ knows that doing the impossible - doing the hardest thing in the world - will get the world's attention. It will draw all men unto him. It will make self-seekers angry, it will weed out the lukewarm, and it will call sinners to repentance.

And there are a lot of sinners out there. Sinners that will come running into our churches, homes, and lives when we show them the scandalous love of Christ.

Allow me to add a quick, yet dangerous note. If you agree with what has been said, it is not enough. The feeling that accompanies knowing and agreeing with the truths of Christianity is nice, but that feeling soon fades when Christ providentially orders our life and calls this knowledge into action.

I would not be surprised if you received a phone call soon after reading this post - from your spouse, child, or parishioner. And I would not be surprised if the person on the other end of that call was needy, negative, or even degrading to you.

As the good feeling fades and the anger tempts you to rage, cling to Christ by faith. Beg for the Spirit's power to love. And hope in the reward that he has promised for doing the hardest thing in the world - for loving those who are not loving you back.

Is It Okay To Be So Busy All Of The Time?

Let's face it, life is busy. Real busy. Many of us are juggling work, school, marriage, children, church, and other important activities. We wake up early and go to bed late. And we find little time during the day to rest - or, to be free from countless demands of the day. We expect that life should be more restful, and at the end of every day we struggle with whether or not it is okay to be so tired. 

We ask ourselves hundreds of questions: What can we cut out? What are we doing wrong? Why are others so demanding? What are we going to do!?

I think a lot of our stress comes from an unbiblical expectation that we should not be a busy people. In other words, it is helpful to know that it is okay to be really tired at the end of the day. Knowing this, I believe, will bring more rest to our hearts even though we tirelessly race with our hands. 

Here are a few thoughts concerning this matter that I hope will be helpful.

Christ was extremely busy. One survey of the gospels shows us that Christ was extremely busy. He was constantly being pulled by the masses. He spent many days without eating. He had to wake up before daylight to pray and spend time with his Father. There were even times when his busyness made him late for vital appointments. People died because he got caught up helping someone else (Luke 8). He even fell asleep in a boat during a life-threatening storm. 

Though Christ was busy outwardly, he was restful inwardly. As Christians, we should be Christ-like.

Christ was busy doing his Father's work. It is not okay to be busy doing something other than the Father's work. The Scriptures actually call this laziness (Prov 18:9). If you are busy doing things for selfish gain, with a self-glorifying goal, and by a wrong standard, then your fatigue is heavier with condemnation. We must daily repent for such actions as we work toward godliness, out of a heart of love, and with an aim to bring God glory. This we can only do by the Spirit who gives us great rest, even while we are extremely tired. 

Take advantage of the gift of God-given rest. Christians should sleep. Yes, that's right. Get some sleep every night. Also, rest for one full day per week. The Fourth Commandment is a gift that we frequently disregard. Many of us would feel less condemnation if we were celebrating the Sabbath with a good nap, with good people, and with worshipful rest. If you feel stress on that day, spend some time repenting of a desire to be unbound by time. Then spend some time actively trusting in the God-man Jesus Christ who cares for you and who is in control. He allows us to rest. He will take care of tomorrow.

Your tireless work is not in vain. Be tired storing up treasures in heaven. Again, if you are storing up treasures on earth, you can expect your fatigue to be mixed with the condemnation of the law (which we cannot bear). But if you fall flat on the floor at the end of the day in utter exhaustion, all because of your tireless Kingdom work, you can be inwardly restful knowing that, in just a short time, you will experience unending rest in heaven. And that rest will be with others who are there because of your work. Jesus was serious when he spoke about such treasures. We should think about this often.

If you die early because of your hard work for the Kingdom, it will all be worth it. It's okay to tirelessly work so that others can eternally rest. 

This is ultimately what makes busyness so sweet. Christ, and his everlasting rest, is what makes being so tired okay. It is because of his work that we can rest before the Father. We no longer work for acceptance. And it is because of our hope of heaven that we tirelessly spend our lives loving others (Col 1:1-5). Remember, the treasures are real. 

Christian, it is okay to be busy.

Cleaning Our House Will Not Cleanse Our Hearts

Chaos in the outside world - from the inconvenient actions of others, to the constant random acts of children - makes me anxious, tired, and sometimes fearful. As the day wears on, and my inner tank draws closer to "E", visions and [over]desires of rest pervade my life. The bed, the pillow, and the long sigh at the end of the day give me a delightful taste of what shalom will one day be.

There are times, however, when I want that taste of rest too badly. In an effort to drag the end of the day closer, I forcefully manipulate my outside world into my own version of what peace should look like. I hastily toss my children into the bed, giving little attention to their small, though often significant, desires. I leave important home-tasks undone. I neglect prayer and intimate conversation with my wife.

I come home and immediately clean. No talking...just cleaning. Order. Now. People can wait.

My over-desire for rest, peace, and order compels me into forcing the door of my day shut. If someone puts their foot in that door, well, that's their fault.

I am learning that when I try to force peace outside, those are the times when there is little-to-no peace inside. By calming the storms around me, I somehow think that I can calm the storms inside of me. For some reason I think that ordering my home will order my heart.

As we survey the world that Christ entered into, we should see that it was far from peaceful, orderly, or restful. He rarely rested (physically). He had to wake up early to find time to pray. The masses where always following him. The Pharisees were always hating him. His disciples were always distrusting him. And the poor were always asking things from him. His life was anything but restful. It was chaotic.

But even during the storms of the outside world, his heart was calm. The peace he brought to others was an overflow of the peace he received from his Father. Because he was restful inside, he could minister to the unrestful world outside. Because of his dependence upon the immutable Father, he was liberated to bring peace to the chaotic world around him.

That's why we can call him gentle, compassionate, and loving.

And this is how we ought to be. By the Spirit of Christ, we should bring peace to others - not forcefully, but gently, patiently, and faithfully. We ought not be influenced into unrest by the world around us. He is our shield, our arc of safety, our refuge, our strength, our rock. Rather than forcefully grabbing the world around us, we ought to faithfully cling to the Prince of Peace.

Anxiety and unrest during chaotic times are the symptoms that we need Jesus. Our frustrations and short-fused reactions toward others (like our children) is indicative that our faith is small. Frantically cleaning will not bring about inner cleansing. I think we all need to hear that cleaning the house will not clean our hearts.

It has really helped me to stop and consider my own heart - especially during times of great unrest. The gospel is really good news. I need it daily. I need to hear that Christ cleanses me, loves me, and is with me. I need to hear that he is unshaken. I need to hear that he is restful, strong, and blessed.

He really does bring freedom. The inner rest he gives, liberates us to advance his Kingdom in the most unrestful places. He gives a calm in our hearts that is meant to calm the restless hearts of others.

White Church Planter, Black Neighborhood - Article for RAAN

I am honored to contribute another article to the Reformed African American Network. Over the past year, I have been asked many questions about how a white guy can plant a church in a black neighborhood. In this post, I share a few lessons I have learned in my short tenure in Trinity Gardens.

The Good News: We Cannot Do Anything We Set Our Minds To

Christianity is the only religion or way of life that obligates and calls people to do the impossible. It is the antithesis of the cultural message most children and adults hear, that "you can do anything you put your mind to if you just believe in yourself."

When thinking of what "the impossible" might be, many think of very difficult feats like earning a college degree, playing professional ball, or building a large sum of wealth. Some may think of overcoming impossible obstacles such as a severe illness, disability or socioeconomic condition.

But that's not what Christ has in mind when he calls us to do the impossible. If it is, then Christianity is no different from any other world belief system. As a matter of fact, humans have historically accomplished and overcome great feats without believing, trusting, and following Christ.

Many impoverished kids have made it to the league. Many people with disabilities have overcome impossible odds. Many low have become high. Many poor have become rich. Many sick have become well. And most of the stories exclude faith in Christ. The moral of most of them is, if you believe in yourself, you can do anything.

And then Christ steps on the scene and calls us to love.

Just when we say, "That's all? I can do that." he calls us to love our enemies - to love those who actively and aggressively hate us, those who do not reciprocate our good will.

Christ calls us to the impossible task of liberating others from meeting certain beneficiary qualifications in order to be loved by us. As a matter of fact, as the love of others recedes, his call for us to love them increasingly resounds.

If we can somehow accomplish obedience to this command, blessings will overflow. But if we cannot obey, we stand empty, in need of his merciful kindness, and reminded that we are weak and unable to do this one small, yet impossible task.

A man may reach the peak of Mount Everest, but he cannot overcome the monumental reluctance of his own heart.

A woman may give direction and leadership to a large corporation, but she cannot direct and lead her own desires.

The devastating truth that we cannot do the impossible if we believe in ourselves has lead millions into the relentless pursuit of a thousand seemingly significant, possible tasks. When Christ calls us to love our nasty neighbor, we run away dismayed, franticly searching for [other] teachers who can give us commandments we can accomplish. We will go to anyone and ask...

Who exactly is my neighbor? Do I give them money? How much do I give? What if they misuse what I give them?

What strategy can I employ to provide water for the entire continent of Africa? How do I start a ministry that does what other ministries are already doing? What can I do right now to change the world?

What possible thing can I do today that will look like I accomplished the impossible tomorrow? How can I soothe my guilty conscience? How can I remove the stain of my own sin?

How do I do these things while appeasing my wife who is starting to hate my efforts to change the world?

How can I make my marriage argument free and do this ministry at the same time? How can I assure my wife that I love her while working too much saving the world? How can I love her without knowing her? How can I care for her when I don't know how?

How can I refrain from going to bed angry tonight? How can I love her well when I really don't want to?

And after we have read the books, asked the teachers, gone to countless seminars and conferences, our own inabilities continue to stare us (and others) glaringly in the face. We have succeeded at reaching the nations, but have failed miserably to love our neighbor. This is the desperate condition only Christianity can heal. This is greatest human weakness that only Christ is strong enough to change.

The good news is that he does. He loves those who do not reciprocate. He loves sinners who come to the end of themselves - who forsake their own efforts and rely fully upon his grace to work in them what they cannot work within themselves. He is strong to love the unlovable that they might become both lovable and loving to others.

It Makes No Sense Whatsoever to Confess Sins

If the threat of punishment looms around every corner, ready to execute after every morally wrong move or motive, then it makes no sense whatsoever to confess sins. If eternal damnation lurks to condemn us perfectly for our culpable imperfections, then it makes all the sense in the world to hide, blame, and defend ourselves.

We should be tireless in our efforts to divert the critical eye away from our shortcomings, while drawing the celebratory attention of others toward our accomplishments. We should be openly critical of others, and overly zealous to proclaim our achievements to the world.

This is human survival.

Death that feels like emptiness, being rejected and unaccepted by other significant beings. Death that feels like hopelessness, having someone else in control of our destiny after we have squandered it away. And death that feels like darkness, having no good, comforting, or safe authority to speak over and direct us.

The threat of this death keeps us bound. The bible uses words like "dominion" and "slavery" to describe that which controls our lives. Diversion is our feeble attempt to delay the death we know we deserve. Because we know it is rightly approaching, anxiety and fear become close [unwanted] relatives.

If we are found guilty, then we are dead. And so we become enslaved to the sins stated above - lying, blame-shifting, and hiding.

But what if the looming condemnation were to be judicially lifted? What if the death deserved was rightly diverted? What if the cup of God's just wrath was poured out completely upon another, upon someone else? What if our death stung another? What if his life saved sinners like you and me?

Then it would make all the sense in the world to confess and not defend. It would make sense to live honestly without hiding. It would be reasonable to take the blame rather than cast it. It would be natural to draw attention to the strengths of others.

Imagine the marriages! Imagine the relational glory!

Suddenly, our old way of doing things becomes wholly unreasonable. If someone were to confront and expose our sins, we should no longer feel the need to defend and divert. The fear of death has been removed. Life has been promised to repentant sinners.

So we admit our guilt. We show our hand. We expose our faults (saving others the stressful trouble!). And we humbly proclaim that we are the freed men and women of Christ - our substitute. We trust him so much that we are fearless to open our lives up in vulnerability to others. We trust him enough to confess, repent, and believe. We love him enough to love others.

We cling to him so tightly that our confessional actions make no sense whatsoever to a watching world.

How to Make World Changing Resolutions

I recently wrote an article entitled How to Make World Changing Resolutions. You can read the article in full on the Reformed African American Network (RAAN) website. In the article, I address the reasons why our resolutions don't last, the faulty nature of our resolutions, and things we can do to ensure they last and make a difference in the world. I hope you enjoy! Happy New Year!