What Does Scripture Say About Children and Having Children?

It is good to be reminded from the Word of God what the Lord says about children and having children. If we allow our culture to have the last and only words about this matter, it is proven and statistically reasonable that certain cultures - yes, even ours - will cease as we know it.

With that said, here are a few things the Scriptures have to say about the subject - this exclusively taken from Psalm 127:

1. Children are from the Lord. Too often we, even Christians, believe that children are ultimately from us. Our biological contributions are the beginning and the end of our offspring. But this is clearly not the case. They are from the Lord.

2. Children are a reward. They are a positive contribution to one's life, home and society - yes, even one's eternity. This is a much needed word, especially in a culture that seems to intrinsically view children as a burdensome curse.

3. They are like arrows. Arrows are usually made from less than straight and perfect branches. The warrior takes much care in forming the arrow, and when it is straightened out, sharp and fully prepared, he shoots it into the world with purpose and mission. Yes, our children are purposeful, not just for us, but for the world, for the kingdom. They must be straightened out in order to fly with precision. They must be sent out in order to fulfill their ultimate calling. And they must be sharp so that the enemy of Christ may not triumph over them.

More on this. Parents are the warriors that shape this weapon of war. When others raise our children, they are less likely to form the arrow properly. In the end, we are responsible. Others should not spend more time with our children than we do.

4. The work of raising children is better done in one's youth. Marriage and child bearing days are getting pushed later and later in life. I have three, almost four children now, and I am tired. I could not imagine having them later in life. I would probably not have as many. And while this is not an argument for how many children one should have (I could not possibly decide that for you), it is an argument that, if a culture decides to have children later in life, the culture will soon have less children, and consequently slip away.

5. Blessing follows those who have children. If you have a lot of children you are considered odd these days. According to this passage, you are blessed. The one who fills his quiver is blessed! Enough said.

This verb "to fill" gives us an idea as to how many children we should have. It lures us into child bearing with the idea and truth that those who "fill" their quiver will be all the more blessed. How many children should you have? The Word of God is clear - filling your quiver is good. Let the couple decide with their sanctified wisdom how many their quiver can hold.

6. Children are a good thing when we are old and cannot provide, protect and care for ourselves any more. They are a better retirement and investment than a 401K. Money will not argue for your rights (in the gate) when you cannot. Money will not change your diaper when we are too old. Money will not protect and comfort when we are dying. But children will. They will fight off our enemies and care for us as we lose the ability to do so for ourselves.

Simply put, children are a blessing. They are a sacrifice, but a reward. This passage is a refreshing confrontation of our popular culture today. We'd do well to pay attention. Our reward will be great!

A Crafty Twist of God's Commands: A Case In Point

I wrote a post a few days ago discussing how we often beat each other over the head with the Bible. We use the Word of God as a cover up for our own selfish ends. People should love and care for other people. This is what the Bible says, right? We then make it our goal to ensure that people follow such a command for us.

We typically get all bent out of shape when others are disobedient - not because it offends God, but because it inconveniences us.

I love watching and learning from children. My kids often provide me with the undignified expressions of practical theology. They are image bearers that haven't learned how to cover themselves well. From them we can learn important truths concerning prayer (ask often and persistently!), dependency, disobedience, and trust.

We can also see in children twist that we place on God's commands mentioned above. We have a common rule in our home about sharing. If your brother or sister (or anyone) would like to play with the toy you have, sharing is not optional. You must share.

The other day, my little boy was eyeing the toy my littlest girl just picked up. He wanted it and asked her for it. Now, she is not even two yet and hasn't really grasped the rule. But my boy didn't care. He quickly said, "You have to share with me. Daddy says so!" After she didn't give over the toy, he ran to me and said, "Daddy, Camille won't share her toy with me. Will you tell her to give it to me?"

Interesting. Sin is so crafty. The command that my boy was calling into play was not actually in full accordance with the house rule. The command is "YOU must share," not "THEY must share." There is a huge difference.

When our heart's desire is that God would enforce his commands upon others for our benefit, we should really consider repenting of such desires. They do not deserve to be answered with a reward, but with the rod.

What We Should Know About Child Sexual Offenders

Here is a helpful post from The Resurgence that gives 5 things we should know about child sexual offenders. The pose begins with the most startling statement: "Child molesters are very professional at what they do and they do a good job at it."

If this is the case, how do we protect our children? Below are five things we should know about sexual offenders.  I have condensed the article significantly.  If you are interested in reading the full article, you can find it here.

1. OFFENDERS HAVE MANY VICTIMS.

One study indicates that child molesters who sexually victimize females outside of the home averaged approximately 20 different victims. That same study found that child molesters who sexually victimize males outside of the home averaged approximately 150 different victims...Not only does this open our eyes to the prevalence of this tragic epidemic, but it should also prepare us in how to respond to individuals within our faith community who get “caught” for engaging in criminal behavior against a child, demonstrate outward remorse (usually by a lot of tears), and beg for “grace,” claiming that this was the only child they had ever victimized. Based upon these statistics, the offender is most likely lying, which means they are continuing to deceive in order to reestablish trust and access to our children.

2. OFFENDERS CAN BE THE MOST UNSUSPECTING PEOPLE.

[C]hild molesters cannot be identified by appearance or social status. In my years as a child sexual abuse prosecutor, I prosecuted physicians, computer programmers, financial advisors, teachers, and even a child sexual abuse investigator! As a faith community, our protective antennas should be focused on behavior, not looks or economic status.

3. OFFENDERS ARE NOT STRANGERS.

Another unfortunate stereotype is that most offenders are strangers to the child. Again, the faith community must be vigilant in protecting our children from interacting with strangers. However, it is common knowledge that most children are not sexually victimized by strangers. In fact, one study found that only 10 percent of child molesters molest children that they don’t know.

4. OFFENDERS OFTEN PREY UPON TRUSTING AND VULNERABLE YOUNG PEOPLE.

In order to sexually victimize a child, an offender will first have to gain access to the child...Once such a relationship has been created, the perpetrator is often free to abuse. Access to such children is obtained by:

1) The already-existing position of the offender to the child or the child’s family (this can include family members, friends, coaches, youth pastors, etc.), or, 2) The intentionally created position by the offender who targets a child and begins to lavish that child with attention, gifts, and “love” (this can include the person who takes an interest in a troubled child, a child from a broken home, or one who has similar interests).

Both categories of access assist offenders in targeting vulnerable children—those who trust and obey the offender. The faith community must keep its antennas up to make sure that children who fall into both categories are carefully watched and protected. We must be vigilant in protecting all children.

5. OFFENDERS ARE OFTEN ATTRACTED TO THE FAITH COMMUNITY.

Though there are many reasons why those who want to hurt our children target the faith community, I want to focus on two that I believe to be fundamental:

CHURCHES ARE VERY TRUSTING.

There is no other environment where they can obtain access to so many children so quickly and nobody seems to be concerned. The faith community must keep its antennas up to make sure that clear policies are in place that prohibits others from exploiting the trust that so often accompanies Christian fellowship. We could all probably benefit from following the advice of former President Ronald Reagan when he said, “Trust, but verify.”

CHURCHES ARE ALWAYS IN NEED OF VOLUNTEERS.

How many churches can you think of that are not in need of volunteers to help out with our children and young people (e.g., nursery, youth group, vacation Bible school, etc.)? Many offenders have grown up in the faith community and are well aware of this constant need for assistance. They will always use this need to their advantage to gain access to our children. The faith community must keep its antennas up by developing ways to carefully screen those who volunteer, while also putting up accountability and monitoring safeguards.

There are many other behavioral characteristics of child sexual abuse offenders that we must learn about if we are going to be proactive and successful in protecting our little ones. A great resource to help you further learn the manner in which these individuals think and act is a book by clinical psychologist Anna Salter, titled, Predators, Pedophiles, Rapists, and Other Sex Offenders: Who They Are, How They Operate, and How Can We Protect Ourselves and Our Children. Every parent and pastor should read this book. That said, the characteristics provided above are a starting point for the faith community to study and consider as we prayerfully seek God’s strength and wisdom in keeping our protective antennas up and active.

Implications of Atheism - Watch This...

One of the most powerful apologetical tactics is to show the implications of what a person says they believe. I like this video because it brings to light the real-life implications of atheistic ideology. We soon see, that while everything is going well, and while we keep our head in the "clouds of autonomous comfort," we tend to allow our beliefs to wander. Atheism is cool.

But when tragedy strikes, we are forced to reckon with the fact that we are not in control at all. We find out we are all subject to the decisions of someone or something else. Tragedy lets us know we cannot just make things up, and that what we believe must attach itself to someone (or something) outside of our mind. Truth matters, especially when people are bleeding.

Therefore, funerals are no time to delude mourners with subjective, arbitrary and inconsistent thoughts. Only the truth will comfort those who hurt. While atheists claim to give accurate accounts for the realities of our universe, it is absolutely ironic those accounts give no reasonable account for the pain we feel when those we love die.

When people are reclining they are more likely to listen to his words than when they are weeping. Dawkins may sell his words on shelves, but let him speak his words at a funeral. The truth becomes quite obvious - Dawkins is delusional.

Trip Lee's New Album

Get the album here.

Love and Loss of Life

Paul Miller, in his book Love Walked Among Us, talks about the realities of Christ's love and how we avoid loving altogether because it is just too inconvenient.  He writes, "Loving means losing control of our schedule, our money, and our time. When we love we cease to be the master and become a servant."

I wrote about this a little a few weeks ago in the post What Am I Supposed to Do With My Life?. The command to love others changes everything in our lives. If by faith we obey such a command, we necessarily lose everything - we surrender it all. Our lives are not our own. It is impossible to love another without immediately facing obligation.

The only problem is that the obligations are out of our control. We have no idea what they will cost us. Things get even more inconvenient when Christ gives post-loving commands. He gives us further direction after we have taken the first step to love. While it is loving to speak to a poor man, the question that typically follows is, "How much do I give him?" Yeah, Jesus answers that too.

I don't believe the answer to that question, however, is significantly felt unless it is demanded. Unless it is being desperately asked by the person who has dared to love, and who is clinging to every Word that comes from the mouth of God for stability and direction. If it is asked before, the answer gets tossed to the side as "too vague" or "ambiguous."

Stop Beating Your Spouse Over the Head with the Bible

In the life of the church, the most common weapon people use to beat up their spouse is the Bible. The husband argues with his wife (either vocally or underneath his breath - doesn't matter really), "You should be submissive to me. The Bible says so!" And the wife, if she enters into the sinful discussion, says something to the effect of, "You should love me like Christ loves the church!"

These are true statements, and biblical ones at that. But there is one slight problem with the way these commandments are often used (the above being an example). It is a shame that we sometimes use the Bible in a very unbiblical way.

Paul the apostle instructs wives to "submit to your own husbands as to the Lord." He goes on to instruct husbands, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church..." (Eph 5).

Notice, however, what he does not say. He does not say, "Wives, make sure your husbands are loving you as Christ loves the church." He does not say to the husbands, "Husbands, ensure that your wives are submitting to you as they do the Lord." This is a critical truth that makes the gospel and the Christian life distinct from all other worldviews.

In giving instruction to the wives and to the husbands themselves, the Lord is speaking to ransomed image bearers who are now free live under his rule. Christ does not give instructions to slave masters, but to redeemed sinners. And because of this, the slave is free to submit to his or her master (Col 3:22), the wife is free to submit to her husband, and the husband is free to love his wife in a Christ-like way.

This makes the home a refuge for gospel-centered freedom, instead of moralistic, religious slavery. Not only does he free us from the tyranny of others, but he also frees us from the stressful life of trying to govern others. As we obey his command to us, we trust that he will liberate the other to obey his command to them.

Where Obedience Takes You

I remember reading The Cost of Discipleship by Bonhoeffer some years ago and reading his pastoral thoughts about the relationship between faith and obedience. He talked about how he would advise parishioners with weak faith to practice obedience. And, if a parishioner did not show signs of obedience, he'd encourage and/or confront them about their faith.

His words did not affect me very much then. But they are whispering to me daily now. As I try to move forward in obedience to Christ, I am finding that my faith is strengthened more and more. I am also being shown where a lack of obedience ultimately leads to a lack of faith.

I am not saying that our obedience somehow merits faith or produces it; but that it strengthens and encourages it. Just as a man without food withers away, so does a Christian's faith without obedience. Jesus' words are unavoidable here: "My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to accomplish his work" (Jn 4:34).

Obedience to Christ often leads us down dark and dangerous roads. The stress, fear, and uncertainties involved in this life force one to reach for something or someone other than one's self. Our ears engage. Our eyes begin adjusting. Our hears begin searching. We are not equipped for this. We need someone to change us.

I remember while in Cameroon noticing how they didn't place a huge priority on illuminating their rooms after the sun went down. You may find one small bulb in the corner of a huge dark room. In the States, we would have put six or seven lights in the same room. In our prosperity, we have come to hate the dark. Consequently, we have forgotten how to cling to light.

The Lord, however, is gracious to turn our lights out every now and then. If we will not obey, he mercifully short circuits our electrical system. Our lights begin to flicker, and we come to attention. He causes the system to fail, and we make a mad dash for light.

And this is my life right now. My lights are flickering. My systems are failing. But I can feel my eyes adjusting, my ears are aware of the slightest divine whispers, and my heart reaching and clinging to the Light. I feel like a little kid who has followed his father's instructions to walk into a dark room. In my fear, I run back to the door only to find it locked. So, I wait. I listen. And, I cling to the words that he promised - that he would always be with me.

This life is scary, but simple. I need only follow his command. There is, after all, no other way than to trust and obey.

Free Book: Rid of My Disgrace

Rid of My Disgrace is a good book for victims of sexual assault as well as those who help them.  It's offered on Amazon right now for free.