One of My Idols Identified and My Attempt to Murder It.

So there is this thing called Google Analytics.  This blog feature tracks traffic to a person's blog and reports it on a daily basis.  It also tells you how many people are currently subscribed.  I can see how this tool would be useful to a company or a blog that was drawing revenue.  If no one is coming to the site, modifications and changes need to take place.  However, my heart has taken these tools and used them to feed one of the major idols in my life.

Today, my conscience is burdened by my desire to see just how popular I am.  I frequent the 'page view counter' to see just how many people have looked at this site.  This, in itself, is not bad.  But for me, it is.  I have found that a page view is just like a complement - and I do not do well with complements.  Give me a few and I am drunk for days with pride and arrogance.  I hate this about life.  I must do something. 

Through much prayer and consideration, I do not feel that canceling the blog is the right thing to do.  As an elder in the church and a pastor, my passion and duty is to teach, preach, encourage, edify, and communicate the gospel of God's grace.  I believe this site is a great avenue for doing such.  The problem is not the site, but my heart.  I praise God for showing me this now.  And I pray that He will aid me in ridding me of this illness. 

So here is my strategy.  

As of today, I am canceling Google Analytics.  I believe this is a practical strategy that will guard me from temptation.  But this strategy, I understand, must be supported, founded and rooted in the Gospel of grace...it must be Christocentric through and through.  Therefore, I am praying (and asking you to pray for me!) and meditating on my identity in Christ. 

I am eternally and ultimately accepted before the Father, not because of anything I have done (including this site), but because of Christ alone.  I believe this extinguishes my longing to be approved and accepted by man.  I also believe that this will enable me to accept both complements and criticisms in a godly way.  Complements will not take me higher than God, and criticisms will not condemn me to hell.  Rather, both of them will edify, encourage, and rebuke - all to the glory of God.

I would also like to repent to you, the reader.  I am sorry for using you.  I am sorry for not being entirely honest.  I am asking for your forgiveness and prayers. 

I am thankful for the opportunity to write and communicate the gospel.  It is something I really enjoy doing.  I need help however, so that I will not take a good thing and make it an Ultimate thing.  I pray that ministry never exceeds Christ in my heart.  I am thankful for the grace that has preserved me this far, and am thankful for the promise of God to finish what He has begun in me.  Grace and peace to you all. 

Scott