My Thoughts and Concerns about the Book "Fifty Shades of Grey"

There is no questioning the fact that the book, Fifty Shades of Grey, is both popular and scandalous. It is the first book to sell more than 1 million Kindle e-books in the U.K. And it is the topic of undoubtedly many discussions around the world where people praise, question, or even condemn its content. I have personally heard it brought up multiple times by Christians and non-Christians alike. I have been asked what I think about it at least a few times.

My goal here is not to answer every question. I can't. I haven't read the book. My goal therefore is to state what I know to be true about the book, and give my concerns in light of those truths.

First, the book, like I said before, is scandalous. It is full of explicit sexual content - much of which is apparently itself quite scandalous - which provokes the reader to be either morally repulsed or sexually excited. According to an article in Parenting Magazine, there are many people who read this book, women especially, and are drawn into sexual activities (or, the desires for those activities) that were previously either uncommon or non-existent.

Second, the book uses words rather than images to be sexually explicit. The same article calls it "mommy-porn." It is apparently uncomfortably vivid as it describes a variety sexual acts.

Third, because of this, many people question its moral acceptability. Those who don't think porn is wrong have no problem with the book. Parenting Magazine being one of them, praises the book and even promotes it as good for a couple's sex life. Those, however, who believe porn is wrong, question whether the book can and should be categorized as wrong. It's not images, but words. It is not a movie, but a novel. Is the woman who reads this book performing the same activity as a man who views a pornographic movie on the internet? I certainly have my opinion.

Fourth, the content of Fifty Shades of Grey draws people into a world of sexual fantasy. Given the testimonies I have read, it even excites them to sexual action.

Now for my concerns.

First, I am very uneasy with anyone observing, thinking/fantasizing about, or partaking in any sexual activity outside of their own marriage bed. I believe this keeps sex good and holy. I believe it answers the question, "How holy can I be? (which is more pleasurable) than, "What can I get away with?"

Some will undoubtedly ask the question, "What about those who read the book and place their spouse in that fantasy?" We must be careful here. I don't necessarily think fantasizing about one's spouse is wrong? But having those fantasies introduced, dictated, and detailed by an author, with objective characters, is hardly fantasizing about one's spouse. Sure, the person may look like the spouse; but what about that person's actions? Are they the spouses actions? According to what I have heard and read, this is typically not the case.

Second, this type of reading is, at least initially, one-way. It draws a person into being individually excited about certain sexual activities. It is less than relational.

Not only are many singles reading this book (which is difficult in itself); but, when those who are married read it, they are faced with the (often problematic) reality that "it takes two to tango." Beginning sexual activities or conversations this way can be very dangerous and damaging. Because sex is an extension of our selfless and sacrificial love for our spouse, the best way to approach it is with the question, "What would you like?" rather than the statement, "This is what I want."

Is it wrong or unhealthy to inform your spouse what you would like? Of course not, as long as it is done humbly, without expectation, and sacrificially. Books and movies like Fifty Shades do more to prohibit this countenance than encourage it.

Third, the reason why the last statement is true is because pornographic material brings a person to believe, "I must have what I see (with my eyes and/or imagination) or I will not be satisfied." Sexual temptations and fantasies are extremely powerful - powerful enough to override reason and conscience. They commonly leads us into throwing other people into an objective world that exists only for our selfish convenience, dictation and pleasure. When sexual material is being read or watched, sexual images are soon idolized and worshiped.

Fourth, I fear that Fifty Shades may do more damage than pornography, because it successfully avoids the categorical taboo pornography carries. I do believe the book is pornographic. There, I said it.

Anyone will have a hard time convincing me that the words of a novel are not as powerful and productive as images on a screen in exciting the dangerous realms of a persons sexual lusts. My memory, at times, is my own worst enemy in my fight against pornography. And, at times, it is a more dangerous one. It's easy to close a book or turn off a computer. It's not so easy to suppress the imagination or memory.

Fifth, I have a particular concern for women. If this were a book marketed and popular among men, the lines would not be so blurred. But because women have been more the victims than the users of pornographic material, we tend to pay less attention to what may capture and enslave women "pornographically". More and more women, statistics show, are becoming addicted to sexually explicit material.

This book is the serpent's way of stealthily slithering into the lives of many women. I am writing this post because women's hearts are at stake.

Simply put, it is not loving to leave this book uncategorized as harmful, pornographic, and wicked. The fact that many supposedly need this book for "sexual-CPR" is not an indication their marriages are healthy. It is more of an indication that our culture, especially from a marital standpoint, is desperately sick. It is not an indication that these marriages are sexually fulfilled, but that they are emotionally and spiritually deficient.

And in a culture such as ours, mommy-porn is the last thing we should be reading. We would all be far more satisfied reading about One Faithful Savior in White, than fifty shades of grey.