Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Stop Beating Your Spouse Over the Head with the Bible

In the life of the church, the most common weapon people use to beat up their spouse is the Bible. The husband argues with his wife (either vocally or underneath his breath - doesn't matter really), "You should be submissive to me. The Bible says so!" And the wife, if she enters into the sinful discussion, says something to the effect of, "You should love me like Christ loves the church!"

These are true statements, and biblical ones at that. But there is one slight problem with the way these commandments are often used (the above being an example). It is a shame that we sometimes use the Bible in a very unbiblical way.

Paul the apostle instructs wives to "submit to your own husbands as to the Lord." He goes on to instruct husbands, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church..." (Eph 5).

Notice, however, what he does not say. He does not say, "Wives, make sure your husbands are loving you as Christ loves the church." He does not say to the husbands, "Husbands, ensure that your wives are submitting to you as they do the Lord." This is a critical truth that makes the gospel and the Christian life distinct from all other worldviews.

In giving instruction to the wives and to the husbands themselves, the Lord is speaking to ransomed image bearers who are now free live under his rule. Christ does not give instructions to slave masters, but to redeemed sinners. And because of this, the slave is free to submit to his or her master (Col 3:22), the wife is free to submit to her husband, and the husband is free to love his wife in a Christ-like way.

This makes the home a refuge for gospel-centered freedom, instead of moralistic, religious slavery. Not only does he free us from the tyranny of others, but he also frees us from the stressful life of trying to govern others. As we obey his command to us, we trust that he will liberate the other to obey his command to them.


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