Aloneness is No Indicator of Identity

One day while in seminary I was struggling greatly with temptation.  I was by myself.  My wife and kids were somewhere.  I sat there at the table, with my head in my hands fighting with all of my might to keep from sin.  It was a war.

Then I heard my neighbor’s truck crank up.  I immediately stood up and ran outside.  He was on his way to class when I told him what was going on. Without a moment’s hesitation, he pulled his truck back into his driveway and came inside with me. 

I will never forget our conversation.  I told him how disappointed I was in myself.  I said something to the effect of, “When I am by myself I struggle the most.  And I know a good indicator of who I really am is to look at myself when I’m by myself.”  In other words, I felt like a fake.  My solitude revealed who I really was, and it was not who I was when I was with others.

He looked at me and said, “Where is that in Scripture?” I simply had no answer for him. 

Pascal gives some amazing insight into human heart regarding this subject:

“Man finds nothing so intolerable as to be in a state of complete rest, without passions, without occupation, without diversion, without effort.  Then he faces his nullity, loneliness, inadequacy, dependence helplessness, emptiness.  And at once there wells up from the depths of his soul boredom, gloom, depression, chagrin, resentment, despair.  Sport, entertainment, fashion, art and society are so often pursued not because of the pleasure they bring, but to take our minds off ourselves.”

This is well said.  The sinful flesh feasts at the table of individualism and loneliness.  Christian fellowship is so amazing in that it brings out who we really are – those who are justified, forgiven, and safely hidden in Jesus Christ.