There is No "Normal Life."

I am a man in my thirties. For some reason, I believe all men, after reaching this season of life begin to love tools. We are fixers, and we are always ready to make something unbroken. My children often praise me as the one who can fix anything from Spiderman's leg to Barbie's arm. The irony here is that I have a honey-do list hovering over my head right now. I have a ton of things to fix in my house. I cannot wait for the day when I have made all the repairs so that I can be done.

Unfortunately, I think many of us have this mentality when it comes to people. Whether a pastor, care giver, parent or friend, we want people in our lives repaired so that we can be done. Damaged people have a tendency to be very dependent. They call a lot. They need a lot. They force us to consider them when making our own plans. They even demand that we give up our own resources, agendas, and schedules. The faster they are fixed, they faster we can get back to our "normal life."

The only problem with this is that people don't get fixed. As soon as a wound (whether spiritual or physical) is closed, another one opens. How many times have I seen deliverance in one area only to be shown a much deeper and dangerous one! As a people, we are always bleeding. We are always dependent upon the resources of another. We are always progressing from the "least of the apostles" to the "chief of sinners." There are no independent, unbroken people.

And there certainly is no "normal life."

The Lord's command to love others demands that other (broken) people have some say in all that we do. Consequently, this life is plagued with the blessings of inconvenience, sacrifice, and servanthood. The Lord has constructed the relational universe around the paradigm of dying to one's self. Sure, we may choose to seclude ourselves in the coffin of selfishness (a hint of a Lewis quote I once read); but this only leads to more brokenness, which in turn leads to more dependency. It's just a matter of time before someone has to feed us and take us to the bathroom.

A wise man in our church told me once that its all about managing people's expectations. I believe he is right. And I also believe that the Lord does this well - we just don't like to be managed. Many times, before expectations can be managed, certain expectations must be destroyed. The commandment to love does just that. We don't repair ourselves and others to be done. We desire redemption through love in ourselves and others that we may one day be glorified. Glory is the "normal life." We just can have it yet. In the mean time, allow the broken places to remind us that we are not our own; that this is not our home; and that this is life is [thankfully] but a breath.