Chaos in the outside world - from the inconvenient actions of others, to the constant random acts of children - makes me anxious, tired, and sometimes fearful. As the day wears on, and my inner tank draws closer to "E", visions and [over]desires of rest pervade my life. The bed, the pillow, and the long sigh at the end of the day give me a delightful taste of what shalom will one day be.
There are times, however, when I want that taste of rest too badly. In an effort to drag the end of the day closer, I forcefully manipulate my outside world into my own version of what peace should look like. I hastily toss my children into the bed, giving little attention to their small, though often significant, desires. I leave important home-tasks undone. I neglect prayer and intimate conversation with my wife.
I come home and immediately clean. No talking...just cleaning. Order. Now. People can wait.
My over-desire for rest, peace, and order compels me into forcing the door of my day shut. If someone puts their foot in that door, well, that's their fault.
I am learning that when I try to force peace outside, those are the times when there is little-to-no peace inside. By calming the storms around me, I somehow think that I can calm the storms inside of me. For some reason I think that ordering my home will order my heart.
As we survey the world that Christ entered into, we should see that it was far from peaceful, orderly, or restful. He rarely rested (physically). He had to wake up early to find time to pray. The masses where always following him. The Pharisees were always hating him. His disciples were always distrusting him. And the poor were always asking things from him. His life was anything but restful. It was chaotic.
But even during the storms of the outside world, his heart was calm. The peace he brought to others was an overflow of the peace he received from his Father. Because he was restful inside, he could minister to the unrestful world outside. Because of his dependence upon the immutable Father, he was liberated to bring peace to the chaotic world around him.
That's why we can call him gentle, compassionate, and loving.
And this is how we ought to be. By the Spirit of Christ, we should bring peace to others - not forcefully, but gently, patiently, and faithfully. We ought not be influenced into unrest by the world around us. He is our shield, our arc of safety, our refuge, our strength, our rock. Rather than forcefully grabbing the world around us, we ought to faithfully cling to the Prince of Peace.
Anxiety and unrest during chaotic times are the symptoms that we need Jesus. Our frustrations and short-fused reactions toward others (like our children) is indicative that our faith is small. Frantically cleaning will not bring about inner cleansing. I think we all need to hear that cleaning the house will not clean our hearts.
It has really helped me to stop and consider my own heart - especially during times of great unrest. The gospel is really good news. I need it daily. I need to hear that Christ cleanses me, loves me, and is with me. I need to hear that he is unshaken. I need to hear that he is restful, strong, and blessed.
He really does bring freedom. The inner rest he gives, liberates us to advance his Kingdom in the most unrestful places. He gives a calm in our hearts that is meant to calm the restless hearts of others.
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