I have a family now. I think my wife is beautiful. And my kids...they are great too. I see them daily. I hug on 'em constantly. We go through good times and even some bad times as well. But we go through it all together. By grace, we seem to grow closer each and every day.
I never thought life in relationship could be so good. But I never thought it could be so dangerous either. When the ones you love become the ones you worship, life takes a very sharp turn. Loving is soon replaced with crushing; asking is replaced with demanding; forgiveness is replaced with fighting; and all because the Creator has been replaced with the creature.
All it takes is one bad day; when we neglect to preach the gospel to ourselves, we place the ones we love on the throne of our hearts. And it's easy isn't it? They are visible, Christ isn't. It's easier to embrace the one seated next to us, than the One who is seated at the right hand of God.
Let's get real. Sometimes I get tired of being a Christian. I get tired of "setting my mind on Christ." There are times when I don't want to read my Bible; and I don't want to pray. I wish He was here with me - tangible, audible, and visible. But He's not. This frustrates me. I get tired of waiting for glory...and so, I walk over and I scoop up my little girl instead.
I have to be careful though. If not, I may scoop her up too high and place her on a platform where she is completely unable to stand. You see, high places are our attempt to adore perfection. When we adore, we lose ourselves. We forget the bad stuff in our lives, because the perfection of "good" is right before us. And this is natural...we were made for this. But there are problems. And these problems are the reason I write. Allow me to list a few.
First, our high places are flawed. They will never pass a divine inspection. Because they are created, they are subject to decay, wear, tear and the like. One day, the high places will come crumbling down. And when they do, whatever [or whoever!] we have placed upon them, will come crumbling down with them.
Second, those we place on our flawed high places are flawed as well. They will never pass the inspection for perfection. Have you ever wondered why we, as humans, want the perfect spouse, the perfect team, the perfect season, the perfect job, the perfect dog, the perfect car, etc.? Answer: because we were made to worship perfection. We were made for God.
But people aren't God. If we look at them hard enough (on the high place) we will spot an imperfection. This is where life gets abusive. If the one we worship shows an imperfection, we lose it! After all, we are placing everything at their feet. They are our source of satisfaction. They are responsible for our identity! If they are flawed, then so are we!
And this is why I crush my little girl sometimes - forcing her, as it were, to be perfect. This is why I crush my wife sometimes - by getting upset and angry when she doesn't do this or that; or act this way or that way.
When our object of worship shows a flaw, we scream at it saying, "Get perfect! Stop doing that! How dare you do that to me!" And when they begin to fall down from the high place, many times we throw them back up there. We force them to be something they were never created to be. This is called abuse. When they don't meet our expectations of perfection, our lives spiral into despair; and they are to blame!
Sometimes people wise up a bit. After coming to their senses, they understand that the person is not fit for the high place. So what do they do? They throw them down; and they replace them with another. This is called neglect. "You weren't perfect, so I'm done with you! Life is too short not to be happy! See ya!"
Third, in our fallenness, we try to climb and sit upon other people's high places. In our sin, we want to be worshipped. We want the praise of men. But this is an extremely fickle position. If we are going to have it, we must fight for it; and fight we do! As said above, if we occupy the high places we are subject to severe criticism. Before long, those who worship us will begin pointing out our imperfections. This is when we get ticked off. This is when we become immediately defensive saying, "Me!? Well, you were this and that! You are the one....!!!" And the cycle goes on and on and on and on...
So what are we to do? We have to live the gospel. There is simply no other way.
First, we must not place the ones we love on high places. This is sometimes very difficult. Christ must occupy the High Place of our hearts. When we are ultimately satisfied in Him - and accepted in Him, we will not abuse others when they don't satisfy or accept us. For me this is very practical. A clean house will not ultimately satisfy me. Therefore, if I come home to a dirty house, there is no need to overreact. Christ has purified my life - who am I to complain about a dirty room!
If I am perfectly acceptable in Christ, I won't be tempted to seek acceptance in my children's good behavior. This enables me to love Emma, Jude, and Camille rather than punish them for being crazy kids. And when they do sin, I can show them a merciful and just Christ instead of an angry and obtuse father.
When those we love are not worshipped, then many "imperfections" that we once saw turn out not to be imperfections at all; but rather personal idiosyncrasies that make them significant, different, and special. Those "imperfections" may just turn out to be what we love most about them.
Second, if we are on the high place of our loved ones, we must come down. This is painful. Part of sharing the gospel to those we love is to help them identify and mortify their idols. If we are the idol, we must be prepared to confess our own unworthiness of worship! This is where we get out a sheet of paper and show them how jacked up we really are. This is also when we must be prepared to find out things about ourselves that we were blind to. If we don't understand the gospel at this time, we will be tempted to hop back on the high place by saying, "You're crazy! I'm not forgetful, lazy, or unfair!"
To sum up, I will give a story that happened just the other day. I overheard Emma and Katie talking in the other room. Emma said something to the effect of, "Daddy never does what he says he's gonna do." This was a daggar in my heart. I almost fell to the floor. Katie defended me a little. I was even tempted to enter the room to defend myself. But I didn't.
I have failed Emma. We used to go on a date every week. Now, we are lucky if we go once a month. This is just one example that entered my mind. And so I repented. But I was also painfully thankful that my little girl saw flaws in her daddy. I was off of her high place and I was not going to get back on. Rather, this was the perfect occasion to direct her to the One who is always faithful. He is always with us. He is always truthful, gracious, merciful and perfect.
He alone is the One we can both love and worship.
Thanks brother!
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