After about four or five months, I was too "Katie-sick" to care about kids anymore. I would have had ten just to have her back. Once she was gracious enough to take me back, I put a ring on her finger. At the same time, she started taking the pill.
We were married in the Catholic church. Consequently, we had to go through their pre-marital counseling. It was just a matter of time until we got the whole "NFP" spill - that is, the natural family planning pitch. I went to the presentation very closed minded. I wanted to have sex without worrying about having kids. I left the presentation convicted.
We decided to ditch the pill (for many reasons). And we started NFP. Five months later...pregnant! Many have said, "See, I told you! NFP doesn't work." To this we have always responded, "No. NFP did work. And it worked very well." The purpose of this post is not to discuss why we believe this way. If you would like to hear my thoughts on birth control, email me (or comment) and I'd be glad to send you my ethics paper on the subject. This is not a subject that I typically shy away from. I believe that Christians are highly un/misinformed on the issue. That is why I recommend this article by Doug Wilson.
Please read it. While I would probably add more, this article is a good start.
We live in a culture that is anti-children. When couples get married, they hardly ever see it in the context of building a family. It is almost always an "option" that they may get around to after they have had some fun together. Children, in this way, are seen as a burden and hinderance to the relationship. They are a threat to separate rather than a blessing to bring the couple closer together. Not all couples, I understand, think this way; but this is our culture's trend.
During our marriage ceremony the minister asked if we would accept children from the Lord. We both said "Yes." Then he asked, "What about ten children?" We said, after hesitating for a minute, "Yes." Three children later, we are tired. But we are also very happy. Children are an amazing blessing. Yes, they may break us - but that doesn't mean we are not blessed. Will we have more? Probably. I hate to presume about gifts from God. But I have always heard that after three, it just gets easier! And, as far as I know, there is only one way to find out!
It may not get much harder, because zone defense is zone defense, but easier might me a stretch. Oh wait, I didn't tell you that did I?
ReplyDeleteDid you know birth control is sometimes used as therapy for treating certain reproductive health disorders in women like ovarian cysts (which can lead to cancer), tons of menstrual disorders, and also to help control painful diseases like endometriosis?A woman that takes birth control not only lessens her risk for ovarian cancer by a LARGE margin, but also breast and uterine cancer. My spelling could be wrong there, but no matter. Villifying other preventative medications should also be a concern if this is the case. Just another thought and question, how do you feel about condoms, the diaphragm, pulling out(seems lewd but laymen's terms generally are, and since I'm not a scientist that's all I have)? Birth control pills don't kill female eggs, their main mechanism of action is preventing ovulation from occurring at all. The eggs are still safely nestled in the ovaries, only the timing is muddled with really.
ReplyDeleteSorry this is so convoluted, but there were so many synapses firing in my brain at once that it was sort of uncontrollable to my fingers.
If the belief that God controls all and everything should be natural is followed then no unnatural medication should exist, we should never cut our hair, and I should be beaten for everything I do.
Picking and choosing what we take from the Bible to follow is what gets everyone in such a heap of argument and trouble. Does anyone really know what we should do?
Meggan Emily,
ReplyDeleteI am sure that it is difficult to read Scott's post knowing it is coming from a man. (I would probably be defensive if a woman started giving me advice on how best to be a man.) Still, there is such thing as biblical truth, and I think that is what Scott is trying to get at.
Scott doesn't explicitly say, "Women should never take birth control." Rather, I believe he is pointing out an unbiblical characteristic of our society, namely that our culture views children as a burden more than a blessing. I think that is something all of us (including myself) need to think through. Children are a blessing from God (Psalm 127:3). Why are we, as Americans, so quick to think otherwise? Again, I am including myself here. I get queasy when I think about having 10 kids. But why should I?
Another thought that I would add is that I believe your information on the function of the pill is incorrect. Either that, or we are talking about different pills. Most birth control pills, however, have 3 particular effects on the woman's body. One of those effects is to keep eggs from attaching to the lining. The second function is to keep the woman from producing viable eggs. The third is to keep the eggs from being fertilized (different than attaching to the lining).
The first effect of the pill is the one that personally gives me great concern. In this instance, the egg may actually become fertilized, therefore, it may be a viable one-week old embryo that is not allowed to implant. We can't say for certain when or how often it happens, but any credible doctor should admit that this is a possibility.
I didn't know this information when I got married, and my wife was on the pill. 1 year later, we grieved to learn that we may have had viable, fertilized eggs (or embryos) that were not allowed to attach. I hope to spare others the same grief in the future.
If you want more information, there are plenty of websites that talk about the uses of the pill. Here's one: http://www.lifeissues.org/abortifacients/pill.html
The sad fact is that the pill is accepted without question in our culture. However, most people are ignorant on how it works. Personally, while I am not saying "No one should ever use the pill," I am saying that I think we should be asking MANY more questions....
I hope that helps, even if it comes from a man. If you would like, my wife would probably be happy to share her experience (and grief) over the same issue.