We didn't have a lot growing up. Getting something nice was reserved for special times of the year, like Christmas or our birthday. In many ways giving was sacrificial. It was special. There was a surprise factor involved because, even though we asked for things, we were not completely certain we would get them. All of this made Christmas a day that my year revolved around. I anticipated it. I longed for it.
But I don't anymore.
Things have changed in our day. With prosperity, credit cards and overwhelming availability, gifts have become commonplace. Buying a toy here and a toy there is no big deal. When our kids say they want something, we just go get it. Its that simple.
I don't especially like waiting either. My Kindle is a perfect example. I ordered it in October as an "early Christmas present". As a child I had to wait. These days, however, rather than adding what I want to my Christmas list, I add them to my Amazon Cart. Instead of checking the days off on the calendar, I click the "Order Now" button (with the express shipping option, of course!). I used to wait months, now I can barely wait 2 days.
I will get to the point. The way my children experience Christmas and the way I did are very different. As a kid, Christmas was all about presents. Why? Because presents were very rare. I only got them two days a year. But what happens when presents become commonplace? Christmas looses its luster. It becomes, for all practical purposes, just another day.
How do we rescue Christmas? Well, the answer is obvious. We make Christmas less about presents and more about Christ. But how do we do this when our kids are getting, literally, dozens of presents! And I'm not sure that Christ is the center when the presents supposedly come from Santa (that's another post altogether!). And I just haven't figured out how to keep my little one's from the danger of idolatry when they are literally overwhelmed with barbies and cameras and cars and whatever else they got.
This year I am hoping to lead in a way that makes next year's Christmas (Lord willing) more special. I know I personally did not set my eyes on Christ like I should have. I'd like to share some of my ideas. I would also love to hear yours.
First, I'd like to get rid of "early Christmas presents." Too many presents throughout the year rob Christmas of its joy. I think there is something good about waiting. There is something godly about anticipating a future "Day." I also think there is something ungodly about trying to drag that "Day" closer. Early Christmas presents (being a prime example) are one way to have Christmas gifts in our own time. But Christ came "at the right time" (Rom 5). Also, when we wait, we realize better that we are not in control. Time is often a great teacher of God's sovereignty. Time is also necessary component for understanding true biblical hope.
Second, I'd like to think hard about the presents we give. Do I want my family to have a ton of superficial "things"; or, do I want them to have a few meaningful gifts. I have no idea how to do this; but I think that a true gift is one that promotes gratitude, community, and Christ-centered worship. I'd like to take this year, with Katie, and prepare a gift for our kids that will "keep them from idolatry" (1Jn 5:21) and that will lead them to Christ. There has to be a gift that, when given, will help them receive Christ better - one that will teach us all about true biblical faith.
Third, I'd like to get the whole family involved in giving gifts to others. If it is truly better to give than to receive (Acts 20:35), then why do we, the parents (and grandparents), get to have all the fun on Christmas?! Could it be that we don't really believe that it's better to give? I cannot help but think that if we give in such a way that promotes faith (receiving the greatest Gift) and hope (an understanding that we now have that Gift, but anticipate it's full consummation), then we will all overflow with a true biblical love - we will long for others to have the same Gift we have.
Finally, I'd love to hear your thoughts on how we can make Christmas better. I am writing this post as a flawed (and new) father. My oldest is 5 now. I am also writing as a new pastor who is trying to help keep my family and flock in "the race". I am concerned that Christmas may be more of a hinderance to that than a help. I covet your comments, concerns, corrections and advice.
Peace to you all and a happy new year!
I appreciate your thoughts on waiting to open gifts. I never considered the benefits of waiting and how it relates to Christ.
ReplyDeleteWe do a few things I'll mention. I can't say they are effective at this point with such little ones but time will tell. First, we don't do Santa in the traditional way. We celebrate on December 6th (St. Nicholas Day) by reading stories about the real Saint Nicholas and how he was a secret giver. Then we too become secret givers. This year it was to one of Isabelle's little friends (we dropped off a gift at her door) but in the future we hope to include the opportunity for the kids to see mercy type needs that we can meet. Then the kids get gifts from a secret giver as well (us, grandparents, etc.) and we decorate cookies that night. Our hope is that Christmas day won't be about Santa but about Christ's birthday and yet they will know who he is and if someone asks "What did Santa bring you?" they have an answer. They also will hopefully learn not only the joy of giving but how to give humbly without getting the credit for it.
Secondly, we do the Jesse Advent Tree devotions each night and hang an ornament on a tree to represent the story. I'm not sure Isabelle gets it yet or not, but she sure loved putting the ornaments on every night! And it really helped my heart build anticipation of Christ's birth as each night you consider the stories that look forward to his coming.
And lastly, this year we have been celebrating the 12 days of Christmas. We have taken a name of Christ to focus on each day (i.e. bread of life, cornerstone, truth, lamb of God, light of the world, etc.) and they have either gotten a gift that day that relates to our devotion or we have done some sort of activity. Some are Christmas related some are not. For example, we did gingerbread houses for Cornerstone, went to look at Christmas lights for Light of the world, we will make Stollen for Bread of Life, they will get a new bible story book on the Truth day, and they got lamb gifts for Lamb of God-Isabelle got a book and Collins got a rattle. I've also heard of people simply spreading all the gifts from parents and grandparents out over the course of the 12 days. And then on Epiphany it will conclude with a King party complete with King Cake.
That may all be more than you wanted but you did ask for comments. :)
So I just tried to comment and it was too long. I'll have to email you. :)
ReplyDeleteGreat question to ponder Scott. Thanks for raising it and for your honesty in feeling helpless to adequately navigate through this parental minefield.
ReplyDeleteNice suggestions also Jennifer on how to thoughtfully and purposefully do so. I'm definitely taking notes.
But...
I remember growing up in a non-Christian home where I often received everything on my list (and then some). As a kid, I would wake my parents up well before sunrise to see if Santa had come. My sister and I would tear through wrapping paper like you wouldn't believe. "The Christmas Story" (movie) said it better than anyone...'unbridled averice'. It was a fantastically exuberant experience.
But then there was the let down, when the gifts you'd hoped for that you thought would change who you are left you completely unchanged. Video games, ipods, and kindles may change the way you live your life or how you do so, but they don't change who your are. They leave you with a broken promise, and you're left holding an empty bag.
Being a dad for 4 weeks now, I doubt I'll be able to NOT buy my kid what he wants if I have the means to do so. I'm definitely going to work some of y'alls ideas into our family traditions to help us remain focused. But I'm thinking the key time will be Christmas night after the hoopla has died down. That seems to be a prime teachable moment.
What better opportunity to demonstrate the condition of the human condition and the Gospel's remedy for it than this? Christians and non Christians alike choose greed, materialism, idolatry, etc over Christ. I fall for the same lie every year, and desire an ipod or a kindle more than Jesus; and every year Jesus allows me the freedom to do so and at the same time accepts me back when my sinful choices have left me unfulfilled...and I want to go back home.
That's the gospel and a back door way to possibly allow "American Christmas" to win the battle, but not the war.
Hope y'all are well!
Brad