Should We Repent to Our Children?

I have three children now.  Emma is five years old; Jude is two; and Camille is three months old.  Needless to say, the house gets a little crazy at times.  Coming home to a quiet and peaceful "refuge" is something that just doesn't happen.  Rather, I come home to the greatest screams ever, "DADDY!!!!!"  They run and grab my legs, making it difficult to get to Katie for a little  "shugga."  (Note:  If she reads this she will call me a dork...and I'm okay with that - because of the gospel, of course :)

After things settle down, reality sets in.  Kids start doing what kids do.  Jude likes to ignore Emma while she screams, "Get off of me, Jude!!!" Emma then begins to kick him in the side.  Jude then proceeds to produce this horrible screeching noise, while he retaliates with punches.  Camille sits in her little bouncy seat sucking away on the passy, waiving her hands back and forth (I call this "rapping.").  So, as the dad, I walk over to the UFC match that is going down on my couch and say, "What's going on here?"

I might as well have said, "Let's play the blame game!!!!"  I quickly put a stop to the tattling and send both to their rooms for a little "tap-tap" (Prov 23:13-14).  After the "tap-tap" I try to guide them in repentance and reconciliation.  Then we guide them in prayer and repentance to God.

This goes on many times a day.  My kids repent to me and Katie very often for disobedience, disrespect and other sins.  But I have realized something.  I hardly ever repent to them.  I hardly ever come down to their level and say, "Kids, Daddy is sorry for not being a real good Daddy."  After thinking this through a little, here are some reasons why I think it is essential that we, as parents, repent to our children often.

First,  repentance makes us human and not God.  Our children have amazing capacities to put up with our junk.  After we have pitched our fits right in front of them, they come right up to us and treat us like royalty.  Amazing.  If we do not repent to our children for our sins, they will think that our sinful behavior is okay.  Most children don't have their devotions every morning in the Ten Commandments.  Whatever instruction they receive, they receive from us, the parents. 

But as the old expression goes, "more is caught than taught."  This is why we have to repent of those nasty things they "catch" from us.  If we do not appeal to a higher Authority, we will remain the authority.  We will be a god to them.   A sinful god is devastating to a small child.  Therefore, we must repent.  This directs their attention toward our Righteous Lord.  It makes us subordinate to Him...it makes us human.

Second, when we repent to our children, we let them know we, too, need a Savior.  We need the light of the Gospel just as much as they do.  But when we remain silent about our own sin and fallenness, we become Pharisaical.   We teach them that there is an age, or a time in life, when repentance is not necessary.  We, parents, have reached that point, and they, the children, must reach it too!  

On the other hand, when we repent to our children, and in front of them (typically I do this during our family worship/prayer times), we are showing them what the Christian life is about.  Being saved is not about being sinless.  Walking in light is not about perfection, but about confession.  The kindness of God leads us to repentance.  When we repent, we show our children the freedom that we have received from our kind Savior.  When a person's lips are shut to repentance, it shows their heart is shut to the gospel.

Third, if we communicate to our children about our own sins, hopefully they will communicate to us about their own as they grow older.  I think every parent that I have spent time with desires a great relationship with their children when they grow up.  Katie says it all the time - how she wants Emma to be able to talk to her about her (Emma's) struggles and failures.   Humble parents make approachable parents. 

Last, as we humble ourselves before God, others, and our children, we show that our trust is not in ourselves, but a Wonderful Savior.  If we never show them repentance, we communicate all we need is rules - all we need is law.  We can do this thing called life - a Savior is not needed.  However, if we repent often, we show that we need to hear the good news about Him daily.  When our kids have grown up seeing our need of Him (through repentance) and our receiving of Him (through faith), when they sin they will be inclined to come to us for the Gospel!