I Just Looked Down and Shook My Head...

And as they walked out, I just looked down and shook my head. The door to the church opens almost on a daily basis as people come to us for help. Help, however, is a loaded word. What we mean by help and what they are coming to get are two different things. I cannot remember a single person who has come to us for the gospel. Most of the time they are coming for groceries, gas, or money to pay a bill.

After a particular encounter last week, I have found myself becoming somewhat calloused. For a few moments, I was resolved to just give them what they wanted and see them back out (until the next time, that is). Broken bones aren't healed by bandaids; and people who are coming to strangers for food are at least broken.

When I'm in trouble, I go to my wife. If she should be absent, I go to other friends or family. Personally, I can't think of a single situation where I would go to a stranger for charity. This is what is bringing a change in me. I have interviewed dozens of "mercy needs" - and among them there is at least one common denominator. For whatever reason, they have no one to turn to. There is no personal, benevolent, familial, Christ-like touch to heal their wounds.

From the sixty year old man who lives by himself, to the twenty-eight year old girl with her three children...they all have resorted to going to cold, mechanical-cash-giving, impersonal institutions for help. Sure, most of them give freely; but is it really free. I can't imagine the brokenness. They may not care; or at least, "think" they don't care. I will say however, that on more than one occasion, I have seen tears well up when I ask, "Is it hard having no one?"

It is at that moment when I see the image of God in the "mercy need" sitting across from me. My heart connects with theirs. I am, at that moment, not the white guy with the money, but another human being trying to make it through this messy world. It is at that moment when I beg the Lord to open our eyes to see the glories of the promise, "I will always be with you..."

The tears rarely flow. I usually hand them the groceries and invite them to church. Sometimes they come. Most don't. And when they do, it is so hard to get them to feel comfortable. The damage is so diverse and so deep that we are forced to give only one remedy - the Gospel; and back out the doors they go.

No matter how deep sin gets and no matter what circumstances try to hide its face, I see it all too clearly. Sin is sin; and I hate it more and more every day. But, the gospel is victorious. I don't have to see it work immediately. I am beginning to realize that it often changes people slowly. It takes time for a new heart to pump blood to the fingers. And until glory, life remains, even for the best of Christians, a big redemptive mess.

I know this - there were many who looked down and shook their head at me. But God, being rich in mercy, did not see fit to leave me the way I once was. He saved me. He gave me mercy. He changed me...slowly.

Yeah, its frustrating when people come in almost demanding groceries. Frankly, it ticks me off. "They don't deserve it!" I tell myself. Then the voice comes (either through inner conviction or my pastor or a deacon or fellow Christian), "Who deserves mercy?" That question makes me look down and shake my head. That question is all that is causing me, another "mercy need," to walk through the doors of my church another day.